High and low
My Sunday started with a visit to ward council in my capacity as ward Self-Reliance Specialist. We are gearing up for another cycle of groups, so that will keep me busy for the next three months.
It was a good church day. The sacrament meeting talks were both excellent examples of figuring out how to give Christ our all without thinking that means we should be doing everything. It was a couple of young mothers, one on the front end of her husband's medical training, and one on the back end of her husband's dental specialty training. Those are good lessons to learn earlier than later. I am still working on them.
Primary was amazing as usual. This time I just sat with some 4-year-olds while their teacher/counselor in the Primary presidency conducted the meeting. Then I stayed for music time with the senior Primary, taking roll for the RS secretary and watching my friend the master Primary music leader at work. It is a bit daunting to contemplate filling in for her for two weeks. The bar is high, in all the right ways.
None of which explains why I was hunched in a puddle of tears in a little nook in the gym after church. I will get to that.
My divorce was final on December 31. It took a couple of days for the relief to set in, but it is still in full force. Not even a week full of twenty email exchanges about the care schedule could mar it. The month is nearly over and we still haven't agreed upon what January is supposed to look like. The decree stated one schedule, Ben asked for another schedule, I agreed to something close to his request but not identical, and then he based all his calculations on the number of days in the original schedule.
Somehow I had let go of the caution in my mind and acted as if he was going to cooperate with the kids returning to me on the date I had agreed to, not his original proposal. I had blithely made family plans with other people. And then the snake was true to his nature and bit me. No one to blame but myself. I just shouldn't have been caught off guard like I was.
It was a good church day. The sacrament meeting talks were both excellent examples of figuring out how to give Christ our all without thinking that means we should be doing everything. It was a couple of young mothers, one on the front end of her husband's medical training, and one on the back end of her husband's dental specialty training. Those are good lessons to learn earlier than later. I am still working on them.
Primary was amazing as usual. This time I just sat with some 4-year-olds while their teacher/counselor in the Primary presidency conducted the meeting. Then I stayed for music time with the senior Primary, taking roll for the RS secretary and watching my friend the master Primary music leader at work. It is a bit daunting to contemplate filling in for her for two weeks. The bar is high, in all the right ways.
None of which explains why I was hunched in a puddle of tears in a little nook in the gym after church. I will get to that.
My divorce was final on December 31. It took a couple of days for the relief to set in, but it is still in full force. Not even a week full of twenty email exchanges about the care schedule could mar it. The month is nearly over and we still haven't agreed upon what January is supposed to look like. The decree stated one schedule, Ben asked for another schedule, I agreed to something close to his request but not identical, and then he based all his calculations on the number of days in the original schedule.
Somehow I had let go of the caution in my mind and acted as if he was going to cooperate with the kids returning to me on the date I had agreed to, not his original proposal. I had blithely made family plans with other people. And then the snake was true to his nature and bit me. No one to blame but myself. I just shouldn't have been caught off guard like I was.
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