A Woman at Church

Today I went early for ward council. I am not a formal member, but as the ward Self-Reliance Specialist the bishop asks me to come once per month when they address welfare concerns. I received the assignment to lead the fifth Sunday meeting that the Area Presidency has instructed all the units to present. Ours will be in June. I still need to look at the materials. Last week I spent five or six hours helping one person apply for one job, in two different sessions. This week I will help someone else review a resume and practice interview skills. I saw Ben and Amelia walk into the building. Ben moved to be in between me and Amelia as they walked past. I am not saying it was intentional, but it could have been. I looked at Amelia and said, "Good morning!" Amelia ignored me. Ben said, "hello," in a certain tone, something between suspicion and disdain. The sacrament meeting talks today on trusting in the Lord and on hope were good. Rick Olson gave the second one. ...

It snowed most of the morning. Church was cancelled at the last minute. This used to be unequivocal cause for celebration. Now my feelings about it are mixed. It just meant a longer day at home with my teens who actively avoid my presence. I spent a little time singing Primary songs that I was meant to lead in Primary today. Then I baked. A friend invited us over for dinner, so I made bread and rolls to take to their house. I also made buttermilk biscuits to top pear cobbler. That was fantastic! I had the Asian pear filling already made in the freezer. In among the baking I shoveled the snow a couple of times. It was the light fluffy version, with giant flakes. I slipped and fell near the end of one round, landing on the heel of my hand. My wrist seems okay, but I came inside and looked at ergonomic mouse options for work. It took three tries to get the three of us seated in the same room for family counsel.The first time the kids were still drowsing on the floor in Amelia's bedr...

We have been having a lot of talks about repentance lately. I don't think that's the assigned topic, but it has been a focus. It has been great because they're the kind of talks that deal with the realities of daily living and how relying on God to help us in our efforts to grow blesses our lives. They are not the kind of talks where there is fear-mongering, trying to throw everyone into a panic about becoming perfect RIGHT NOW. Failure is part of the developmental process. This is a principle I am trying to remember in my new job. I have been in my assignment about a month following a couple of weeks of training. I keep making mistakes and not remembering things I have been told. More than once. So I am frustrated with myself. I am trying also to be gentle with myself. Of course, I am not trying to make mistakes. Usually I just need to slow down, give my brain a little more time to remember or figure it out. As much as I like to check things off, I want to get them right...

My kids just went into the kitchen to eat lunch. I am in the bedroom preparing for a nap. It's what they've been waiting for to come out of hiding. Yesterday I decided that it was time to dedicate my home. I had considered doing it at Christmas with my oldest in town to make it feel like an occasion, but between my new job and holiday chaos, it just didn't seem right to try to squeeze it into one of her three evenings here. It deserved to be its own event. So when I realized that I had the kids with me this Sunday and there wasn't a whole lot going on after church, I invited Noah and Anna to come over for a short family meeting and lunch. It's an anniversary of sorts. On February 5, 2018, I spent my first night at home alone in my rental house after moving something less than half of our marital belongings out over several weeks in December and January. I shared with Noah, Anna, Tom and Amelia some of the tender mercies I'd experienced in the past year, most...