My daughter did not go to church today
We had a remarkable sacrament meeting today. The youth speaker did a lovely job talking about how prayer has brought her comfort and peace. Makayla, a woman who recently joined our ward, gave a beautiful talk about being of good cheer. It turns out, it isn't so much about being happy as having courage. She shared stories of her grandmothers and her mother that showed their different ways of having courage and the confidence that can come to us through faith in Jesus Christ. Then we sang, "I Am a Child of God." Isaac gave the last talk, with similar motifs. He made a point at the end to say that having challenges and feeling bad are not synonymous with being out of favor with God.
The Relief Society discussion topic was on Becky Craven's talk "Careful vs. Casual" and Pr. Oaks's talk "Where Will This Lead?" It was good for me to revisit Sis. Craven's talk and find that it was less annoying than I perceived in its delivery the first time around. It had felt like an invitation--or at least an excuse--to be judgmental. One thought I had this morning was that, although "there is not a right way to do the wrong thing," there are wrong ways to do the right thing. Sometimes we forget that.
We spent most of the time discussing Pr. Oaks's talk. I pointed out that we should make ourselves and our own decisions the focus of the question. Sometimes we get confused about that. I have been thinking about that in the context of my son getting ready to move in with his girlfriend. Pr. Oaks told a story about people watching a dog preparing to attack an unwitting squirrel on a tree and then being horrified once the squirrel was in the dog's mouth, although they could have intervened and warned the squirrel at any moment. My son is not the squirrel. This isn't the moment for me to jump in and tell him he is doing something wrong. This is the moment for me to ask where my own behavior will lead and to strive for loving kindness. I can dwell in the many wonderful qualities of my son, and even of his relationship with his girlfriend, rather than dwelling in my own disappointment and disapproval. My disappointment and disapproval is none of my son's business.
The Relief Society discussion topic was on Becky Craven's talk "Careful vs. Casual" and Pr. Oaks's talk "Where Will This Lead?" It was good for me to revisit Sis. Craven's talk and find that it was less annoying than I perceived in its delivery the first time around. It had felt like an invitation--or at least an excuse--to be judgmental. One thought I had this morning was that, although "there is not a right way to do the wrong thing," there are wrong ways to do the right thing. Sometimes we forget that.
We spent most of the time discussing Pr. Oaks's talk. I pointed out that we should make ourselves and our own decisions the focus of the question. Sometimes we get confused about that. I have been thinking about that in the context of my son getting ready to move in with his girlfriend. Pr. Oaks told a story about people watching a dog preparing to attack an unwitting squirrel on a tree and then being horrified once the squirrel was in the dog's mouth, although they could have intervened and warned the squirrel at any moment. My son is not the squirrel. This isn't the moment for me to jump in and tell him he is doing something wrong. This is the moment for me to ask where my own behavior will lead and to strive for loving kindness. I can dwell in the many wonderful qualities of my son, and even of his relationship with his girlfriend, rather than dwelling in my own disappointment and disapproval. My disappointment and disapproval is none of my son's business.
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