A woman at church

This week I have felt more deeply frustrated with the position of women in the Church than ever before. I am also checking my privilege (well-educated and well-connected). What happens when a woman makes an appointment to see her stake president? If that woman is me, the stake executive secretary asks her zero questions, says “I am going to call this a counseling appointment,” and the stake president meets with her one-on-one for a full hour, as it turns out.

If that woman is not me, the stake president might end up calling her branch president to get some background information. Her branch president might describe her as “manipulative,” causing the stake president to invite his counselor to join him for the meeting. And then he might tell her a story about how local leaders (bishops, branch presidents) are entitled to inspiration in counseling members so that isn’t really his role. If that woman has ADHD and complex PTSD, she may not be equipped to advocate for herself in adequate ways. She may decline to get the branch president on the phone during the interview to clear the air because he has counseled her to go home and do what her abusive husband says she should do, not to mention the fact that would then make it three men sitting across from her.

I know how to make the Church work for me, for the most part. Not everyone does. It is deeply troubling when institutional structures give credibility to parties who may or may not deserve it, simply because they hold a certain position of authority. When those parties mischaracterize the people most in need of our help, I lose a little faith in humanity. I know the stake leaders mean well. This is so troubling to me because I believe my stake president to be the most trustworthy of men. And yet, taking reasonable steps to protect everyone can turn out to leave vulnerable the most vulnerable of all.


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