Children and Youth

I forgot to mention last week that Tommy helped administer the sacrament. It's the first time I have seen him do that in several months, at least. The bishop has told me he often sees Tom sitting in the back of the chapel by himself. He is finding his own way, although I didn't see him at church today.

I watched the Face to Face on the new Children and Youth program tonight. I especially loved the video of the young women rock climbing, ending with the one who had on a big smile as she proclaimed "I am never doing that again!" Sometimes once is enough not to allow fear to drive.

I felt sad through much of the meeting. I miss my kids. I wonder whether they will come to my house tomorrow. I sent them each a personal email last night. I probably won't get any feedback on those messages.

Sad as I was, I got a good laugh in the middle of the meeting when Alice called to tell me that my former in-laws had invited me to have Thanksgiving with them. Um, no. They already knew Alice had plans to make moussaka. Why would I spent time with them instead of her? So strange.

I forgot about choir practice before church today, but I sang as one of two altos anyway. It was fine. I spent much of the morning texting back and forth with someone who was feeling anxious about being at church today. She came anyway. I am continually amazed at the clear and frequent spiritual impressions she receives, direct words and even songs that guide her and comfort her. Sacrament meeting went fine, except for bumping into people she knew from her branch who weren't up to speed on her current situation and were just trying to be friendly.

It was comforting to sit next to her in Sunday school. Twice I made heartfelt comments, about priesthood power and about faith. Both times Ben made a comment not long after mine. She had never met him before, but she leaned over and said, "I recognize the undermining." She is in the middle of a divorce experience much more harrowing than mine.

I mentioned this experience in Sunday school during our last self-reliance group meeting today and wondered aloud whether anyone else in the room recognizes what Ben does for what it is. There was a firm, "Yes, we can tell." The speaker said she restrains from physically tackling him when he does that. It felt validating. I am comforted that not everyone is deceived by him, and gratefully amused at the defensiveness in my behalf. "Thank you. I don't need to be defended from him. He has no power over me." And in this context, that is absolutely true.